"Faith is a house with many rooms."

"But no room for doubt?"
"Oh plenty, on every floor. Doubt is useful, it keeps faith a living thing. After all, you cannot know the strength of your faith until it is tested."

This, I got from watching the movie Life of Pi, based on the book of the same title. The movie, and the book, dealt with sensitive 'issues' that clings on to me. Particularly religion and the element of the unreasonable in it.

From my outburst of curiosity, over our usual normal dinner, I asked my dad: "If you weren't born into a Muslim family, would you have still been a Muslim?" After a long pause he replied with, "That's a good question." He then mentioned how if he were born as, say, a Christian, he would have some temptation to understand the other religion. And he would do the same as a Muslim. He then goes on to say, "We are taught not to keep a closed mind on other religions... But to answer your question, yes, I think I would still have been a Muslim either way." Somehow, a part of my subconscious mind just refuses to believe that at first glance, especially after watching that movie, which then of course led me to blurt out another question.

"Do you ever have any doubt?"

His reply was an immediate and stern "No."

This slightly took me off guard. Maybe it's just me being the naive 17-year old girl that I am, I just found it difficult to comprehend the fact that one could be so sure of something that has so much doubt.

Anyway, the dinner fell silent after that. But towards the end, it was my dad's turn to ask me the questions. "So what is your doubt in Islam?"I should've just lied, I should've just said I didn't have any doubt but in what universe am I able to lie? (Unfortunately, none.) So I said, "Oh you know, I have doubt for it as a whole." Idiot. Of course, my dad wasn't too happy with my answer and he struggled to keep his face from showing any emotion. He then came up with rational reasons as to why there shouldn't be any doubt. "Do you think that trees just appear out of the ground?", "Who do you think created us, human beings?"

Life of Pi taught me that faith can very much be unreasonable and even the most credible thing or someone can be doubted. That nothing in life should ever be an absolute because if that's the case, where's the fun in that? I'm not about to bash my dad's beliefs, I respect him and he is the most credible person I know but I just kind of wish that he understands that he hasn't given me much to think for my own. I dove head first into this pool without learning how to float.

Without doubt, I would have just followed blind faith. I would have just taken religion as it is. Instead, I question it everyday. As of now, my dad thinks I've got a major problem.. For having doubt. Surely I'm not the bad guy here, I can't be blamed for having an overly critical mind.. Can I?


S