Smth a little more personal

You could be so sure about your feelings at one point but strangely enough, it can quickly turn against you.

A year ago I thought I had this unconditional love for someone. Unconditional. That's a strong word. And a strong kind of love. Only now do I realize by giving him that satisfaction, that he can be the only one to break it. And abuse it.

To say that you love someone is always a big statement. Because along the way, things happen. Shit happens. They do things that will break you. Break you to the point that you start to doubt the love you have for them. And the breaking of the trust usually follows straight after.

I'm not saying I'll never give my love away again and I know that not everyone I meet will do the same.  But let's just say I'm not going to open my heart out so easily. I've got walls - great beige ugly walls - around it and all I want is just for someone to tear it down, because I won't. Because then, I'll know he won't take me for granted.

asdfghjkl whatevs. I ask for too much most of the time sometimes.

I realise that this is all a bit lebay, as one one would say in Indonesian, but I had the need to get it out there in the form of this unknown blog. Because... Lebay can be good. It creates good romantic novels, movies (and also the tackiest sinetron but let's just leave that bit out). Ok, irrelevant! Mocks has screwed my mind over, leaving me in an unstable, emotional psyche...

Till my recovery,

S