Guess what? Mocks have ended and I'm back to blogging. My fingers are kinda stiff, haven't opened my Mac in forever. Right now? I'm feeling kind of bittersweet. I've just returned from the Year 11 Residentials to Lido Lakes and this could possibly be my last. It's kinda hard to wrap your head around something that you've had for so long and suddenly it will all just end in a split second. I don't imagine myself anywhere else but here, but at the same time I want change. I demand for it.
I'm pretty much contradicting myself - I've always despite change. So why am I asking for it now? Be careful for what you wish for, right? I've never been so sure of myself when I ask for this. Too many things I just want to leave behind and start anew. Leave all the unanswered questions. I was asked the question that I've been trying so hard to avoid all along, today. Wasn't sure on how to answer and so I ignored it. Just like everything else. I'm scared, A. I don't want to answer because I know what's going to happen.. I just don't want to hear the truth too fast, too soon.
I've been an emotional wreck for the past few days, and it isn't a pre-menstrual thing! I've been bombarded by comments and choices that I have to make in such short notice. It's kinda pulling me apart, but like all things, I'm going to try and see the end of it and come out stronger than ever before. Sometimes, I just wish these choices were made by itself and let me do the following. So this concludes, I'll be in shutdown mode for a while until I put myself together. I'll be back whenever I shall feel like it, just because I can.
Stay in my little comfort zone or adapt to a new life?
That is the question.
xoxo, Suka
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